baby’s new teeth

His two front teeth are slowly coming out! Just felt a little chainsaw teeth today!

Very exciting! ๐Ÿ™‚

I used to write in code. So I could express my feelings yet did not have to face the consequences of speaking of my private feelings. But after a long period staying silent through my turbulent days and nights I am afraid I have gone mad.

Forgive me for my bluntness and somewhat biased feelings. Although I may lead a very rational and logical life and only allow facts to guide me to a decision, I am still very flawed.

I resent her for being so selfish with her needs of showing off to her friends at my cost. I cannot forget her face when I told her of my plans… How she seemed so shocked. Well, you should wait and see if anyone else can top mine.

I resent him for having wasted so much time and not having been appreciative for my sacrifices.

I am still a girl who loves to go onย romantic dates and sexy shoes. I am aย woman who used to beย not afraid then I got into depression and my OCD kicked in. I want to run away from all the negative feelings and imaginations. I feel insecure about my environment and I feel unsafe. I wish I had someone/something to protect me.

Seeing my son definitely makes me feel that way however… strong… grounded…


ํ•œ๊ตญ์—์„œ ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜ ์ดˆ์ฒญํ•˜๊ธฐ

์•„์ง๋„ ์˜๋ฃŒ ๋ณดํ—˜์„ ์ œ๋Œ€๋กœ ์ฐพ์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ๋„ค์š”.
์ด๋ฒˆ ์ฃผ์—๋Š” ๊ผญ ์•Œ์•„๋ณผ๋ ค๊ณ ์š”.

์ด์ œ ๋™๋„ค ์Šˆํผ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋””์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ์•Œ์•˜๊ณ 
์ค‘๊ตญ ๊ทธ๋กœ์„œ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋””์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ์•Œ์•„ ๊ธ‰ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ์ƒ์„ ์ด๋‚˜ ์ฑ„์†Œ๋Š” ํ•œ์•„๋ฆ„๊นŒ์ง€ ๋ฉ€๋ฆฌ ๊ฐ€์ง€์•Š์•„๋„ ๋˜๊ฒ ๋„ค์š”.
์ด๋ฒˆ ์ฃผ์— ๋˜ ํ•ด์•ผํ•˜๋Š”๊ฑด ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜ ์šด์ „ ๋ฉดํ—ˆ๋ฅผ ๋”ฐ์‹œ๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
๋‰ด์ €์ง€์—์„œ ์šด์ „๋ฉดํ—ˆ๋ฅผ ๋”ฐ๋ ค๋ฉด ์‹ ์ฒญ์„œ๋ฅ˜๊ฐ€ ๋ช‡๊ฐœ ํ•„์š”ํ•œ๋ฐ
๋ฏธ๊ตญ ์€ํ–‰ ์นด๋“œ์— ๋ณธ์ธ ์ด๋ฆ„์ด ์ ํ˜€์žˆ๋Š”๊ฒƒ
์ด ์„ธ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฉด ๋  ๊ฒƒ๊ฐ™๋„ค์š”.
์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ ์ง€ ๋‹ค ๋œํ›„ ์—…๋ฐ์ดํŠธ ํ• ๊ฒŒ์š” ๐Ÿ™‚

์˜์ฃผ๊ถŒ์ž ๋ฏธ๊ตญ์—์„œ ๋ณดํ—˜์ฐพ๊ธฐ

๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜์„ ๋ฏธ๊ตญ์— ์ด๋ฏผ ์‹œํ‚ค(?)๊ณ  ์ด์ œ 60์„ ๋„˜๊ธฐ์…”์„œ ์˜๋ฃŒ๋ณดํ—˜์—๋Œ€ํ•ด์„œ ์ข€ ์•Œ์•„๋ด์•ผํ•˜๋Š”๋ฐ ๋งˆ๋•…ํ•œ๊ฑธ ๋ชป์ฐพ์•˜๋Š”๋ฐ ๋‚ด์ผ ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์•Œ์•„๋ด์•ผ์ง€์š”…

๋‰ด์ €์ง€ ์จ๋ฐ‹์ด๋ž€ ๋™๋„ค์— ์šฐ๋ฆฐ ๋ณด๊ธˆ์ž๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์ฐพ์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค!

Moving plan

Apt Fix List

1. Kitchen window wall damage

2. Living room cable box damage

3. Gas heater cover repair

4. Clean the oven

5. Clean the bedroom fans dust

6. Small br window cracks

7. Install blinds

8. Bathroom rechalking and ceiling and paint

9 Apt paint one color

10. Uninstall racks from the kitchen

11. Install the smoke detector in larger bd

12. Tighten all the ceiling items that are loose.

13. Confirm the reservation for moving company.

14. Get boxes for moving

15. Go to the city hall

16. Order the blinds

When packing/unpacking:

1. Make sure the tool box is out handy once we move.

2. Install the baby gate

Other things to do:

New house:

1. final inspection

2. Meet with C.

3. Open a joint account

4. Go to get new numbers

Valentines day

Thank you!

Love is everywhere.

Red heart shaped paper pieces

sweet chocolates

bubbly champagne

peach cobbler

I want to see the new stephen hawking’s movie

I love you, science!

What a romantic field of study.

images strikingly beautiful.

novelists who cannot write.

muted stories that should be told.

living in the world with another dream.

losing self identity.

losing my name.

gaining another identity.

perhaps thats ok.

Ode to my father – the most ordinary life may be the most extraordinary story hidden

Thank you for escaping and giving me opportunities to LIVE

Newborn baby clothes buying tips

My baby is now 5 months old and looking back I have some tips on newborn baby clothes that I would like to share with the world of to be moms ๐Ÿ™‚

1. snappies vs zippers on Onesies: Zippers!!! – Get onesies with zippers! You will be changing the baby in the middle of the night and feed her/him. From my experience it is best to feed/change him in the dark. When you turn the light on, the baby will have his eyes open and cry out loud… It is hard for the baby to go back to sleep and you will have to stay awake as long… It is hard to snap those little snappies in the dark while zippers are really easy!

2.ย Onesies vs separates: Onesies!!! – for the same reason as above, onesies are so much easier to dress in the dark than the separates. It also covers the stomach at all time making it easier for you to pick up the baby without the clothes getting rolled up and expose the belly ๐Ÿ™‚

3. Cotton vs mixed material: Cotton!!! – I am allergic to some synthetic materials like latex and spandex etc. I am not sure if I am allergic to polyester but it makes me sweat more and I cannot imagine how this can be good for sensitive baby skins.

4. Patterns and coloring: As little as possible, keep it simple. Many coloring used in baby clothes are toxic. They are made of heavy metal and some of patterns are done with color printing on fabric which overtime flakes. Stay away from them as they flake your baby may ingest them… It cannot be good for anything.

5. Onesies without feet vs with feet: I like them with the feet so you don’t have to dress socks.

6. Zippers on jackets and sweaters vs buttons: Buttons!!! – Those little zippers will be on your baby’s face and s/he will try to nibble on it or it will touch his/her face. During the winter those zippers can get really quite cold. I don’t think it would be comfortable.

7. Add three months for pants size – babies drink milk and their tummies can larger after a meal. I wanted to make sure that my son had enough space by getting larger pants than his shirts.

8. Socks – if you can find socks with high ankles it will keep them warmer. Harder to find but I think it gives them extra warmth for the colder days.